5/25/2009

Jokes about canadians

Jokes about canadians:
There was a boy who worked in the produce section of the market. A man came in and asked to buy half a head of lettuce. The boy told him that they only sold whole heads of lettuce, but the man replied that he did not need a whole head, but only a half head. The boy said he would go ask his manager about the matter.

The boy walked into the back room and said, "There's some jerk out there who wants to buy only a half a head of lettuce." As he was finishing saying this he turned around to find the man standing right behind him, so he added, "and this gentleman wants to buy the other half...

The manager okayed the deal and the man went on his way. Later the manager called on the boy and said, "You almost got yourself in a lot of trouble earlier, but I must say I was impressed with the way you got yourself out of it. You think on your feet and we like that around here. Where are you from son?" The boy replied, "Canada sir."

"Oh really? Why did you leave Canada?" asked the manager. The boy replied, "They're all just whores and hockey players up there."
"Really," replied the manager, "My wife is from Canada!!"
The boy replied, "No kidding! What team did she play for?
 
Jokes about canadians:

You only know three spices: salt, pepper and ketchup.

You design your Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.

The mosquitoes have landing lights.

You have more kilometres on your snow blower than your car.

You have 10 favorite recipes for moose meat.

Canadian Tire on any Saturday is busier than the toy stores at Christmas.

You live in a house that has no front step, yet the door is one metre above ground.

You've taken your kids trick-or-treating in a blizzard.

Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled in with snow.

You think sexy lingerie is tube-socks and a flannel nightie with only 8 buttons.

You owe more money on your snowmobile than your car.

The local paper covers national and international headlines on 2 pages, but requires 6 pages for hockey.

At least twice a year, the kitchen doubles as a meat processing plant.

The most effective mosquito repellent is a shotgun.

Your snowblower gets stuck on the roof.

You think the start of deer season is a national holiday.

You head south to go to your cottage.

You frequently clean grease off your barbecue so the bears won't prowl on your deck.

You know which leaves make good toilet paper.

The major parish fund-raiser isn't bingo it's sausage making.

You find -40C a little chilly.

The trunk of your car doubles as a deep freeze.

You attend a formal event in your best clothes, your finest jewelry and your Sorrels.

You can play road hockey on skates.

You know 4 seasons: Winter, Still Winter, Almost Winter, and Construction.

The municipality buys a Zamboni before a bus.

You understand the Labatt Blue commercials.

You perk up when you hear the theme from "Hockey Night in Canada".

You actually get these jokes and forward them to all your Canadian friends

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